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This period represents a full decade since the word “ghosting” hit the common lexicon. Initially, the idea that someone could instantly end all contact with a lover without any notice seemed like the height of indignity. Our innocence was charming. In the 10 years since, seeking a significant other has only become more bewildering – an oftentimes unsuccessful pursuit in humiliation that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media jargon.

Zoomers, a generation who came of age during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a concerted attack on the rights of women and the queer community, faces a far messier environment than their Gen Y forerunners could ever imagine. And so their romantic lexicon has grown longer and more bizarre, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” testing the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a extensive breakdown to the terms Zoomers is using to talk about romance, sex and the search of both. To echo one of the year’s most viral online sayings, by the conclusion of this list you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – For Zoomers, romance's ideal is presenting as your true, unvarnished self. Good luck with that!

B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon loosely based on a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your date's reply is interested or brushed off. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Independent partner – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner puts herself first while exuding mystery and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

C

Support test – This refers to going for someone who helps you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a seat for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A outing where two people connect while running errands, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how financially strained young adults do affordable dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Melting down – Having a breakdown when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can lose it over a crush or breakup, spilling all of your unreciprocated emotions.

D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a signifier of 80s yuppie excess, it describes partners who choose against having children to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The antithesis of being guarded: utilizing dialogue, transparency and openness.

F

Signals

• Danger signals – Behavioral quirks signaling a prospective partner is bad news. For instance calling their former partners crazy, subpar tipping habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Positive signs – These actions validate your decision to date a partner. For instance following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, having a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe specific, mostly benign idiosyncrasies. Such as being an keen birdwatcher, still keeping a pen in their wallet, paying rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who loathes the same stuff or individuals that you do (few things creates intimacy faster than having a common enemy).

G

The band Geese – A musical group many young men listens to.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of silence.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and loyal. The rare boyfriend who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Gooners – A primarily online community of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, deliberately postponing climax so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A mindset describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An ideal promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily domestic, who apparently has no goals of her own other than pleasing her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Icks – Arbitrary and frequently trivial turnoffs that instantly shut down any sense of desire.

“He would if he cared" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an incredibly romantic gesture.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in professions they believe are being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, educators or counselors.

K

Making out – This year, scientists learned that kissing has existed for 16m years. But the era of locking lips may be limited since some Zoomers desire fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen romance realistic.

Light catfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {