Late-Night Hosts Take Aim At Trump's Latest 'Gold Card' Immigration Scheme

Late-night's prominent entertainers devoted the airtime mocking former President Donald Trump's newly announced immigration initiative, labeled the "golden visa," portraying it as a obvious pay-for-access scheme for the rich.

Colbert's Pointed Analysis

Opening his program, Stephen Colbert presented a sardonic Christmas tune targeting the commander-in-chief. "He is making a list, checking it twice, then giving that list to the officials at ICE," he crooned. "Trump ... ruins each thing he comes into contact with."

The subject was the controversial initiative which permits overseas nationals to acquire U.S. residence for a sum of one million dollars, or "top-tier" tier for five million. An official website guarantees approval "faster than ever."

"One thought here to rich foreigners: prior to you fork over the cash, have you considered Canada?" Colbert quipped.

He pointed out that the card is also designed to "get cash" from businesses looking to hire skilled workers, involving hefty fees. "That is a lot of fees, though if you register, you additionally get a complimentary stay at a hotel of your choice – provided that it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he said.

"The most thorough screening the U.S. government has before done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to make sure these people completely qualify to be in America."

"That's important, you have to prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert responded. "The initial query: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Commentary

On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the visa program the "Get Into America Express Card."

"This is a card that will allow affluent foreigners to live here," he stated. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get official resident status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one serious crime of your selection."

"Perhaps it's time to change that poem on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your tired masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel lampooned the brevity of the application, saying it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak."

"Indeed, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "That's what Jesus constantly said! It's in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Grocery Concerns

On another network, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's declining poll ratings during financial worries. "Voters gave Donald Trump a another term since they were mad about the economy," he explained.

Recently, in a bid to discuss prices, Trump held a briefing in front of a array of food items, and behaved strangely to boxes of cereal.

"These look great, I think I'm going to take a few of them back to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a while."

"He is so fucking weird," Meyers responded. "Like, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by criticizing conservative media defenses of Trump's financial performance. "Maybe instead of voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he joked.